


what matters (to her)

by captainhurricane



Series: life and the universe (as we know it) [1]
Category: Mass Effect
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-05-14
Updated: 2013-05-14
Packaged: 2017-12-11 21:18:28
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 696
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/803364
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/captainhurricane/pseuds/captainhurricane
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Shepard and Kaidan spend a quiet moment. During ME1.</p>
            </blockquote>





	what matters (to her)

**Author's Note:**

> This is actually me rewriting a year-old drabble. The Shepard here is my own (a dark-haired Renegade) but as I don't mention her first name or much defining characteristics, you are free to imagine your own. (I know I have trouble reading fic about other people's Shepards, pfft.)
> 
> This is part one of a series of drabbles connected to my Shepards, tiny points of their lives and their loves.

"What?" She asks, long, artistic fingers tapping her computer screens and keyboards, soft notes of music slithering from the player on her night table. The ever-sharp gaze is focused on the text ahead of her, but only a fool would think her ears aren't capable of picking out the slightest of sounds; her senses honed to perfection. She doesn't have to look around to see who it is, that steady step and soft breath is unmistakable. Kaidan chuckles, the sound warm. Shepard smiles against her will, Kaidan's closeness rubbing some of her edge off.  
"Can't sneak past you, can I?" murmurs Kaidan and steps into the cabin, the door closing with a huff. Shepard still doesn't turn to look at him, her fingers continuing to tap but her focus isn't on the work anymore. Kaidan takes a chair, only briefly considers sitting down where it is before moving right beside hers. It's not really a consious movement but he does it, out of some deep-rooted need to be near her (I love you, I love you, just say it, man, Garrus would say and the glint in his most visible eye would seem mocking to Kaidan. The turian would probably roll his eyes if he could). Loyalty to Alliance-regulations keep him from reaching out, but nothing can keep him from looking.  
"Nope," Shepard answers after a moment and now she turns towards him, warmth seeping to the usually cold blue eyes. Her smile is a small one, but it is genuine and it's there; and it's only for him. Kaidan watches, enthralled, having admired (for longer than he would like to admit) the way his commander can have such an expressive face; how the same pair of eyes can be cold as ice and warm like the blazing fire at the same time. He coughs.

"So-" he starts. She stifles a chuckle, but her shoulders tremble. She could start a conversation, of course; move it towards neutral waters, maybe reminisce about Virmire even when the mere thought of it makes her jaw clench. Anything but the tension between them and the memory of a disturbed almost-kiss. Kaidan straightens in his chair but he doesn't get up or leave. The warmth of his gaze settles on Shepard again, so heavy she has to bite the inside of her cheek.  
"I did come here for a reason," Kaidan says and scratches the back of his head. He looks away, looks around the cabin like only now seeing it properly.  
"And that is?" Shepard saves her work, her focus shifted. Kaidan is staring, but when she turns to look, he fidgets and gets up instead.  
"Shepard," is all Kaidan says. He licks his lip, then huffs, the private expression slipping into a more formal one. He even takes a step back.  
"We've gotten the message that the things Ash.. Ashley had are to be sorted and sent home when we stop next time. And it should be proper that it's you who does it. Commander," Kaidan murmurs and Shepard blinks.  
"Kaidan," she starts. Kaidan fidgets.  
"You could have used the intercom for that, I said I wanted-"  
"Shepard," Kaidan says and it's almost a growl. He steps close and the privacy of his expression is back, the heat of his gaze is back.

"I know. Truth to be told, I came to ask if you'd like company for the evening." The corner of Shepard's mouth twitches. She can't deny it isn't a thought she has entertained for quite some time. The clock ticks in her mind, journey behind and journey ahead. Saren looming somewhere in the horizon. No time for this. Yet she says none of it. Reaches a hand, brushes fingers against Kaidan's bare arm.  
"Come by. I think its time we talked." Kaidan takes a step closer, leans. She leans too, yet he chuckles.  
"See you later, Shepard." Shepard knows Kaidan is overstepping his boundaries; she knows _she_ is overstepping her boundaries. But when Kaidan is right in front of her, a river of calm to her raging storm; even a stronger woman would have perished and by humanity's standards, there are no women stronger than Shepard.


End file.
